>>Diplomat! Report — Persian Rugs

Hi, >>Diplomat! here reporting live from the Cheap Persian Rug Emporium. Yes now I know we have no people actually reading this as we have yet, well Daniel and Amy have not yet advertised this umm, blog, if you can call it that. But yeah, no advirtisement which brings me to why I am at the Cheap Persian Rug Emporium, they are famouse for their T.V adds, you know, the one’s where they yell at you like your stupid or deaf. I’m not f***ing deaf, but thanks for trying to make me, you are certainly loud enough.
Were you ever annoyed by the adds where there was a warehouse full of junk no one wanted and it had to go by midnight tonight?
I was, oh and the liars stayed there for another three freakin weeks.
Are you sick of having your late night T.V viewing being over-run by “Paid-For-Presentations”?
If I wanted a damn bowflex, i wouldn’t be watching T.V, I would excersising.
Oh and the worst ever T.V adds, Mobile Phone Club adds. You want one ringtone, you end up paying $6 a freakin week.
WTF
I asked the crazy warehouse guy why he had to be so annoying and why he had to yell all the time, here is what he had to say.
“I JUST DIDN’T WANT YOU TO MISS OUT ON THE BARGINS!!! SAY YOU WERE IN THE OTHER ROOM, WE NEED YOU TO HEAR ABOUT OUR BARGINS, THEY ONLY LAST FOR USUALY ONE DAY, ENDING ON MIDNIGHT!!!”
He then insisted I buy a Persian Rug for $5.
“$5!!!! $5!!!! $5!!!!”
I had no choice but to buy the damn rug, turns out it was made in China, I suppose you get what you pay for. By this time I wanted to punch him in the teeth, yeah, that would shut him up.
So, why do they yell at you like your stupid?
Well because it gets your attention.
Why?I don’t know, I’m not a psychatrist.
Just as the Crazy Warehouse Guy got me to buy the $5 rug from the Cheap Persian Rug Emporium, they bring you in to buy the crap they have.
So, is this all so bad? Well no. I mean yes, you can get hit by the “Bait and Switch” run around, but it is unlikely that you are going to be screwed over by them. So now we get to the core of the problem, Internet Advirtising, the only advertising that makes you feel scared and genuinly repels people.
Ok, I say again WTF.
What do theses things do, “Press here 1 millionth visitor for your free prize”, who the f***k falls for that. You press it and ten days later your bank account is depleted and your credit card debt is threw the roof because you happened to fill out your details when they asked so you could recieve your super-dooper Ipod Nano. Why does this happen, because the internet is very hard to police and there are stupid people who are sooooo gullable they thought you were serious when you said “Use the knife to get the stuck toast out of the toaster… No, no, leave it plugged in”.
The next type of add comes in the form of a flash game. Oh WOW!! It’s soooo pretty, I must play. Yes, there are actually people who play these, even though they know once they win and they will because they are shit easy, their computer will lagg from the advertisements spammed across their screen. I even know one person who play these games, you guessed it, Daniel. Yep, I have walked past while he was on Myspace and he is trying to shoot the bunnies. Anyway, these games are a very good way of getting people to look at your products, which makes it very annoying because they are hard to resist.
Finally, the most annoying adds “SAY SOMETHING”. Yes, those damn talking smileys. I call Jihad on all talking smileys. Yes, it’s a site that relies on advertising, advertising. Who the hell actually gets these? Especially when your home alone and you accidently roll over the image and “SAY SOMETHING” scares the crap out of you. Good job guys in making both the most annoying and creepy advertisement all in one.
What happened to the day when an advirtisement didnt make you scared or yelled at you till your ears bleed? Maybe we would enjoy your products more if you could rid advertising of these elements. This is >>Diplomat!, now leaving the Cheap Persian Rug Emporium with $300 worth of hallway runners and carpets.
>>Diplomat!